HOW TO BE A BAD CRUISER:
Every Wednesday it seems like some smart ass asks, ‘What, are you the police?’ At first we were nice about it, but it’s gotten to the point that no one here on this ride is your mommy, nor are we affiliated with the police. But as those who have spent 100s of hours putting this together, but misbehavior is for children, and with the reports coming in from last week, there are some on this ride that are not acting like responsible adults. For those of you who think that for some reason that you are above the law, and continue to ignore these simple rules of the Denver Cruiser Ride, then you will eventually be dealing with the police, and not us.

This past week, a rider who claimed to have been a "fireman," told me this after I repeatedly asked him nicely not to ride down the middle of Walnut in the wrong direction: "I'm a fireman, I don't give a fuck what you say." This kind of attitude is what I have zero patience for... who comes to a ride, and when asked nicely not to be an asshole responds like this? Seriously? This isn't the only disrespectful person I've encountered recently. If you cannot behave with some civility, please find someplace else to take your bad attitude.

THERE ARE SEVERAL SIMPLE WAYS THAT YOU CAN DESTROY THE FUN WE HAVE EVERY WEDNESDAY. ARE YOU GONNA BE THE ONE THAT SCREWS THIS FOR EVERYONE?

• BAD CRUISERS IGNORE THE RULES OF THE ROAD: Running Red lights and encouraging others to disobey the rules of the road is a lame move, and a total jackass thing to do, so for all of you Jack Asses, we’ve got our eyes on you.

• BAD CRUISERS THINK WEDNESDAY IS DRUNKEN FREE FOR ALL. For those of you who understand this, then go ride with those riders that don’t think the Denver Municipal Bicycle Code applies to them.

• BAD CRUISERS IGNORE WARNINGS OF THE ORGANIZERS. This will get you nowhere fast, trust me. Anyone that acts like an ass, will be treated like an ass, and my favorite thing to do is to ask the assholes to leave. We have the muscle and the fortitude to ban you from sticking around, and those that love this ride will not put up with your shit.

• BAD CRUISERS RIDE DRUNK. Anyone who is too intoxicated to ride safely will be asked to leave. If you choose to ignore this, then we will happily call the District 6 Sergeant’s cell number, and we will no longer hesitate calling it, and let you deal with the consequences of a BUI. Got it? Don’t Ride Drunk, it’s stupid. Plus, the patience of the Denver Police is wearing thin with all the flagrant open container violations. This is not a gigantic, bring your own beer party. Denver has an open container law, and a word to the wise: Kept it out of sight if you are going to do it.

• BAD CRUISERS DISRESPECT OTHER ROAD USERS. If you have no respect for others using the roadways, then those other users of the roadways will have no respect for you. This seems like the most obvious 'duh,' but for some reason there are people that show up and think for some reason we’re here to be disrespectful, this is clearly your own misinterpretation. Stop blocking traffic, let the cars by, and we’ll all be happy.

• BAD CRUISERS SHOW UP WITHOUT LIGHTS ON YOUR RIDE. Bike Ninja’s are a thing of the past, and if you’re too cheap to buy a coupla lights for your bike, then you clearly don’t value your life. GET LIGHTS ON YOUR BIKE so other riders and auto drivers can see you at night.

• BAD CRUISERS RIDE AGAINST TRAFFIC. There have been so many instances of riders straying into the lane of oncoming traffic, it makes us wonder if you really are as stupid as you act? Would you drive your car on the opposite side of the road? Seems like this is a pretty obvious ‘NO,’ so if you do this on your bike, be prepared to be dressed down by someone on the ride who’s not gonna put up with your stupid shit any more.

Why would we want you to follow some basic rules? We care about your safety. While each rider rides at THEIR OWN RISK, there's some elements coming on to the cruiser rides that don't seem to think that they need to be responsible. Think again. Any one tagged as a 'Bad' Cruiser will be singled out and asked to leave. Besides, we're all here to have fun and ride bikes, why be an ass on a Wednesday night? Who's got time for that? Read the reason we ride any way, and if that doesn't change your mind, then grow some balls and start your own ride, with your own agenda.